Thinking/Reflecting

So, I have been thinking about the type of art that I have been creating lately. Critiques have been really interesting and have reminded me that I just need to trust myself more. Everything I work to prove, disprove, edit, revise, create, devise, comes through in a very simple gesture through my new work. . If anything kept repeating throughout this semester it was:

Do less, trust yourself more, stop shouting so loudly, what do you actually think about it, take a more definitive stance, it’s not enough to just point out the issue, everyone knows this exists already are you adding to it, pointing it out or in other words, the ever stinging,

So What?

Not all of that was bad really. I mean, I haven’t really trusted myself enough, I’ve just regurgitated my frustration over and over to the point where making responses wasn’t helping me as much as I was hoping it would. What was supposed to be fuel for a more meaningful visual response, turned out to be a retaliating catharsis. I have shifted some gears. While doing what I supposed was work, I also started taking images that were done by natural impulse, and although highly personal, seemed to sit longer in my own memory.

So whats the lesson? Sometimes as an artist you hit several bumps. It’s not like out of some miraculous epiphany everything just gets ok. One of my most respected professors said to me, “you will have to retrain your mind to feel the beautiful small things, and it might be hard, but it is possible”

So even though once in a while I am going to continue with some images of hip hop, ideologies of  what a “woman” is  in todays mainstream, domesticity, fragility, and role play…I am going to continue to pursue beauty by impulse. We all recognize that beauty, and it is mostly by impulse, by some strange surge that insists we document, remember, and save those images, for future reference. Sometimes, the personal, the heart and the simple, is all we need to truly share the ideas that have become part of our identity. Of course it makes me feel a vulnerability with others that I am not used to, and to some extent don’t feel to comfortable sharing…but alright, here I go.

I will be posting images from shows that I have been to this semester and also some of the old work that led me to these thoughts. I might also begin posting some of my recent and impulsive work.

I have a lot to do before volunteering abroad in Ecuador. A lot of work to look through, analyze, think about, and reflect. A lot of catching up on myself to do, but I am definitely excited.

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About Silvia Gonzalez

Photographer Teaching Artist
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